Short and brief since we have a million things to do today BUT…..
HARPER JANE TOOK HER FIRST STEPS!!!!!
We are so proud!! She gets a huge grin on her face when she gets going! She can do about 5-6 steps at once before going down (if she feels like it!)
Watchout world…Harper Jane is on the loose! Mama is going to need a lot more wine! 😉
Baby girl,
One year ago our world changed. So much has happened in these 365 days. I know I will never be able to remember it all….and that breaks my heart. I want to remember to feeling of calling Dan at work to tell him that “it’s time!”. I want to remember what I wore that day (black maternity dress) and how all the emotions running through me felt. I remember dancing in our bedroom like a crazy person to no music because I had to do something or I was going to explode! I don’t remember there being much fear (though that came a little later!). I try to remember the pain of the contractions…..It is true what they say, labor pains do fade from memory after time! I want to remember what it was like to go into the primal zone towards the end. It is unlike anything I’ve ever seen or experienced.
Most of all I want to always remember with crystal clarity the moment when the OB told me to reach down and grab my baby. I reached down and grabbed your sweet little arms and guided you up onto my chest. I hadn’t even heard you cry yet…but my heart was gone. That amazing cry came afterwards followed with a quick check between the legs (and a big suprise there!) 😉  The amount of emotions that went through me in those few minutes are unexplainable.
I loved you from the first minute of life. Over the next few months that love continued to grow and grow as I got to know you and we fell into a routine. I can still remember the day that the overwhelming love hit me over the head. You were nursing in the rocking chair late at night, all cuddled up. I was so tired but I couldn’t stop looking at you and you were staring right back at me. It hit. I spent a long time that night rocking you, nursing you, and just staring at the most gorgeous baby I’d ever seen….all the while crying like a baby. I have had several other nights like that….and it still hits me harder everytime.
With the insane amount of love comes an insane amount of fear. In a matter of minutes my entire life became….you. Suddenly everything is a threat, every breath is carefully watched, and every fall warrants a trip to the ER (if your daddy had his way about it!) 🙂  I have now stopped watching the local news or any movies that deal with injured or dying children. Can.Not.Do.It.  One night sitting up reading a blog about a cancer baby who didn’t make it sent me into hysterics for hours. It was days before my blood pressure went back down and you were allowed to nap somewhere other than on me! I’m sure it is not healthy or normal….but you are my whole world. I can’t imagine losing it.
In 365 days you have learned how to sit-up, crawl, pull-up, and almost walk! You can roll over with a breeze and your laughs & giggles kill me everytime. You are a chatterbox….you will talk from sun up to sun down and even though we can’t understand you yet you seem to want answers or comments! You have gone from my little squishy who had to be in my wrap 24/7 or you would scream for ages to this independent little girl in front of me! You are all arms & legs now. You still like going for a ride in my wrap but you no longer need it for naps and after awhile you want out! There is a world you want to see!!
I miss my cuddles now that you sleep and nap in your own room. Once in awhile you will cuddle on my chest for a bit after a nap. I treasure it so much because soon even that will be gone. As much as I miss my little bitty baby I am loving the amazing little girl you are becomming. You make me laugh everyday now. You definitely have a stubborn streak (I take responsibility for that!) but it is downplayed by your class clown streak (Daddy is to blame for that one!).
I have had the pleasure of staying at home with you and getting to watch you change everyday. That alone I am so grateful for. I cannot wait to see what the next 365 days brings. I can’t imagine ever topping this year….but with you beside me I know we will kick it out of the park!
I have many names for you : Harper Jane, Bow-Ba, Booger Butt, Princess, Monkey, Baby Girl, Little One, Kidlette…..
Thank You Baby. Thank you for allowing me to be your mommy. Thank you for showing me love in return….your smiles and open mouth kisses melt me everyday.
Here is to the next 365 days! We made it through infancy so now we are going to tackle toddlerhood!!!
HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY HARPER JANE!!!! I LOVE YOU MOST!
Passports & Prams 