Every parent knows exactly what someone means when they say they are having one of “those days”. It receives automatic looks of sympathy and usually some comment about bedtime and alcohol.
Today was one of “those days” for us.
For the past 2-3wks I had actually hit my stride as a mom of 2 small children. The days were long but fun and busy. Meltdowns were rare or easily stopped and for once my house looked decent and there were home cooked meals most nights. Gotta admit I was feeling like supermom! I had this! I should have known one of “those days” was going to come slap some reality back in me soon….
For almost a week now we have been stuck at home while Dan works due to the kiddos and myself being sick. Luckily I wasn’t hit as hard by the bug and even with the horrible cabin fever we were having the days were still going pretty good (supermom remember?!). Today however I decided we were ready to enter the world again since Harper and I were both almost back to normal and I could hopefully just keep Jake contained in his stroller/carrier with his own germ covered toys. After a little discussion with the 3yr old we decided to head to the Jumpy Place (or usual go-to!) so she could play and I could relax with the free wifi/coffee. Unfortunately being Sunday it didn’t open until noon leaving us with a few hours to kill in the morning.
That was where it all started heading downhill 😦
After breakfast we watched a quick movie and then started to get dressed. Harper had apparently found a bottle of nail polish that I did not know about and decided she wanted her nails painted. Unfortunately I had no clue what the heck she was talking about when she kept telling me she wanted pink toes. I thought she wanted pink socks and we entered one of those epic meltdowns over stupid stuff that only 2-3yr olds can do. The more I tried to understand her the more upset she (and I) got. It ended after 45min of screaming, crying, flailing when she finally brought me the stupid bottle and I figured out what it was she wanted (why couldn’t she have done that 45min earlier when I told her to “go get the pink” so I could figure out what she wanted?!). I did a quick mani/pedi but we headed straight into another insane meltdown when she wanted to put on her shoes 10sec after I had painted her toenails and I said “no”. At this point I was over the hysterics and just decided to start loading up Jake and our things into the car while she did her screaming thing in the living room. As soon as the door to the garage closed Harper when nuts because she thought we were leaving without her and started banging on the door. I ignored her for the few seconds it took to buckle Jake in and when I went back to grab her found that she had somehow threw the deadbolt to the door. Not a big deal except all my keys and my phone were currently inside the locked house with her. ::Cue Panic:: Harper was still screaming and crying because she thought I was going to go to the Jumpy Place without her and I was trying to get her to open the lock on the door. 15 minutes of screaming/coaching/instructing through the door (while inside I was wondering WTH I was going to do!) she managed to turn the deadbolt and unlock the door. Whew! I loaded her in the car and we headed out (while she continued to cry because I apparently grabbed the wrong socks….3yr olds are just a ton of fun).
We were still a little early for the Jumpy Place and I was starting to get hungry (and thinking that could be a reason for Harper’s unusual attitude) so I figured an early lunch would help. Like any supermom I had packed a nice healthy lunch….but after the morning stress it didn’t sound good. I wanted pancakes!! 🙂 Thinking I could give us a little treat and turn the day around we headed to Cracker Barrel!
Cracker Barrel….on a Sunday…..across from the outlet malls…..yeah I’m an idiot.
I should have turned around when I saw the line but nope I had promised pancakes and we were gonna have some pancakes! It was only a 35min wait but 35min with a 3yr old in the General Store inside each Cracker Barrel is torture. I “lost” her about 5 times as people got in my way and she shot off with her little munchkin legs, and good luck keeping her out of the toy or candy bins. By the time we were seated I was exhausted. Unfortunately I wan’t the only one….Jake had had enough stimulation and was ready for an early nap. Crap. I spent the entire meal trying to get Harper to eat (suddenly she went from being starving to not wanting to touch anything on her plate), picking up those stupid pegs that are on the table game, and trying to keep Jake from screaming. The highlight was when I was attempting to get a bite of egg into my mouth and Jake hit the fork causing the egg to fly gracefully through the air and land on the table next to us. Oh joy. He also managed to pass out in my arms the minute I put the last bite of food in my mouth….isn’t that how it always goes?!
After paying and maneuvering back through the General Store to the car I found out that apparently Jake had had a major diaper blowout all over his carseat that I had somehow not noticed….and it had managed to smear on certain areas of my clothing during the meal. A quick diaper change, a changing pad tucked under him in the carseat and a lot of baby wipes/hand sanitizer later and we were ready to go. I almost called it quits at this point seeing that the day was shot…..but I knew there would be hell to pay if we didn’t go to the Jumpy Place and figured what else could go wrong?!
Please…don’t ever utter those words.
At the Jumpy Place I got us all settled into some chairs with good viewing of the area so I could watch Harper play. She ran off and I started to nurse Jake to see if I could get him back to sleep. A few minutes later I look up from him to see a child walking across the large room wearing a tank top and no shorts….no shorts AND no underwear. About 0.5 seconds later I realize that that child was MY child. WTH. I quickly unlatch an almost asleep Jake and rush over to where my almost naked child stood. She explained that she needed new panties and when I inquired as to where her old panties were she walked me to the bathroom where I find that apparently she had a slight poop accident (her first in about 8months!) and had tried to wash them out in the toilet. There stood an almost naked 3yr old, a screaming 6month old, and myself looking down at a poor pair of poopy panties floating in a public toilet. The thought “how did my life end up like this?!” might have flown across my mind. Luckily I had a spare set in the diaper bag so after getting Harper redressed and fishing out the old pair (EWWWW!!!) I did my best to sanitize myself and relax again in our chairs. My peace lasted for a whole 30min before Harper took a spill and gave herself a big bruise on her cheek. I decided to call it quits and load up my two crying children to head home (Jake screamed the whole way because he was so overtired at this point!).
I called it quits and put on TV until I dinnertime (thank goodness for leftovers) and decided to take advantage of the fact that neither child can tell time by putting them to bed an hour early. My morning will probably start before the sun but at this point I don’t care! Tonight I am going to open a bottle of wine and enjoy a glass while ripping up my supermom cape. Hopefully it will make some decent cleaning rags!
Passports & Prams 