Jacob Daniel’s Birth Story

 

I’ve started writing this a dozen times this week, but the words needed escape me.

“Every baby/pregnancy/delivery is different”….how many times have we heard that phrase? Despite knowing and even saying this I still was completely unprepared mentally and emotionally for Jake’s birth. From the moment you see the two little lines on a pregnancy test you start dreaming about the day you get to meet your new son/daughter. 40wks of planning, preparing, dreaming…..waiting….for that magical day. Every thought/dream I had of the day my second sweet baby was born was based off of how labor/delivery went with Harper. How far off I was! Harper’s birth was so completely textbook that it would almost be classified as “boring” (that was how my midwife put it when discussing how her labor went…..it was so perfectly by the book that it was a medically “boring” birth. Exactly what every mother/healthcare professional wants!). With Harper my water broke followed a few hours later with the start of contractions. I went through all three stages of labor with no problems, slowly started feeling the urge to push and then had 45 min of an easy pushing stage (complete with push/rest periods). Throughout it all I found pain relief with a dark quiet room and swaying on the birthing ball. Quiet, peaceful…calm.

Enter Jake.

A natural med-free birth has always been important to me (though most people don’t understand why I would “want to do that to myself again”). For a good part of the pregnancy it looked highly likely that Dan might miss the birth so we decided to hire a doula so that I would have someone at my side if he didn’t make it home in time. When he did make it home in time I wasn’t very excited about the idea of having a doula with me. My doula was extremely sweet and was highly recommended with my midwife group but we didn’t completely agree on a few issues (though she NEVER pushed her views on me!) but most of all I wasn’t sure how needed she would really be since Dan is an amazing labor coach and I truly felt I would quietly hang out on the birthing ball the whole time again. Birth is such an intimate experience and I don’t like the idea of having anyone other than my husband, midwife, and nurse in the room. However I can 100% say she was worth her weight in gold to us when things got crazy!!!

Background:

I noticed around 36 wks that my Braxton Hicks were getting stronger and more frequent so I decided to start my Evening Primrose Oil and Raspberry Leaf Tea routine to get my body prepared for labor. Once I hit 38wks I started having pretty hard primordial labor every night. It was exhausting! My contractions would increase in intensity and start slowly getting closer together…often coming 5-6min apart. Almost every night I would lay in bed trying to relax through the contractions and trying to keep my hopes from getting up that this was the real deal. As soon as I had decided that maybe I should wake Dan and let my doula know the stupid things would stop! Maddening!!!! At my 39wk appt. I asked the midwife to give me an internal because even though it meant nothing in terms of when labor would start I was just curious if all the contractions were actually doing something! I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I was almost 4cm and 60%! The midwife felt that the time was close and warned me to not wait too long to come to the hospital since Harper came pretty quick for a 1st baby and I was already progressing nicely. Time to get the house clean and the hospital bag into the car! 🙂

2:30am – Contractions Start

After crawling into bed exhausted and sore from going on a major cleaning spree during the day I fell asleep hard. At 2:30am on December 30th I woke up needing to use the bathroom and feeling some pretty strong contractions. I didn’t think much about it since I had been having night contractions for so long until I went to the restroom and realized I had lost my mucus plug and was having some bloody show. I crawled back in bed with my heart racing knowing that most likely today was the day. Knowing that sleep was now out of the question I sat up in bed playing on my phone and keeping an eye on how close my contractions were. There were coming about every 5min and lasting 30-45sec pretty consistently.

4:30am – I wake up Dan

I had been trying hard to not wake Dan up knowing that the upcoming day would be long and crazy and that one of us should have a good nights sleep. At one point though he groggily woke up from me shifting around in bed trying to get comfortable. He asked if I was ok (seeing that I was playing on the internet and not sleeping) and I casually mentioned that I was pretty sure I was in early labor. At that point there was no sleep 🙂  My contractions were coming consistently at 5min apart and 45sec long. We spent the next hour cuddled up in bed talking about what we needed to do and reminiscing the last time I went into labor. At this point I was completely calm….Dan was a little freaked out 😉

5:15am – Out of bed

We both figured that since we were wide awake we should probably get up and do some last minute things. We were both waiting for my water to break and had already decided that we would leave pretty much immediately if it did. I asked Dan to make me an egg on toast since I knew I would need energy for the day and I had no interest in eating during my labor with Harper. My contractions were still 5min apart but were definitely starting to get more intense. Dan cooked and I sat on my exercise ball bouncing around trying to see if I couldn’t get my water to break or things to speed up a little. We debated calling our friends who were to watch Harper but decided to give it a little more time before we woke everyone up. At 6:30 Harper woke up and headed down for breakfast. My contractions had now increased to every 4min and were 45-50sec long so I knew we should start getting ready and calling around. At 7:00 I headed into our room to get dressed and throw some makeup on (yes I put makeup on before I went to the hospital…..the result is that I look like a crazy raccoon in all my pictures immediately following Jake’s birth. Waterproof mascara just can’t handle labor/delivery and tears!). Dan called our friend in Austin at 7:00am to let her know that I was in labor and she should start thinking about heading down to get Harper and our doula to let her know that things had started. When he hung up he asked if he should call his coworker who had agreed to watch Harper until Angel could get in from Austin if needed. I originally told him no because I felt we still had plenty of time but about 5 minutes later I told him to go ahead and call her because suddenly my contractions had gotten intense to where I couldn’t really walk/talk through them. I decided that as soon as someone got to the house to watch Harper we would go because I was struggling to maintain focus with Harper running around and wanting to be held/played with.

7:50 – Head to the hospital

Once Dan’s coworker arrived we called the doula to tell her we were headed in and to meet us there. Telling Harper good-bye was hard. Knowing that the next time I would see her she wouldn’t be my only baby. I felt so guilty for how much I was about to change her world. I didn’t want to let her go when she hugged me. Eventually we jumped in the car to go. Contractions were still sitting at 4min apart 50sec long but they were intense to the point that I had to really concentrate through them and use some of my hypnobabies techniques. Dan and I laughed about how different this labor already was….no “heading to the hospital” pictures, actually having to work through contractions in an uncomfortable car…..The 25miles to the hospital seemed to take forever!

At 8:15 we pulled into the parking garage and headed towards triage. I started getting emotional heading in and had to fight back tears walking the halls of the hospital. I kept having flashbacks to the last time I had headed into L&D. I found everything about Jake’s birth to be much more emotional than Harper’s birth. This time I knew what was coming….I knew how much my life was about to change….I knew how much love I was about to feel. I was scared and excited.

8:30 – Officially admitted

Once in triage I got changed and hooked up to the monitors. Contractions were officially coming every 3-3.5min and lasting 1min. The nurse gave a quick internal and and found me at 5.5-6cm and 60%. My midwife was called to come on up to the hospital and I was officially admitted. My doula arrived a few minutes later and we hung out in triage for a bit waiting on a room. Contractions were still intense (more so because I was in the bed hooked up to monitors!) but all in all I was feeling great!

Soon we were officially in our delivery room and after getting my saline-lock (5 freaking attempts! I have crazy easy veins for IVs so I was not happy about the multiple attempts and huge bruises that I got on both arms during labor. Made moving around a pain because I kept bumping the big knots that formed!) I decided to walk around the room a bit to see if I could get things going more (I was waiting on my water to break…everyone figured it would move fast once that happened!). As I was walking around chatting with my doula and Dan we kept laughing about how easy everything was going considering I was around 6cm! I kept joking at this point that labor was a breeze! Words I would definitely eat later!

6cm and finally admitted and in our room!!

12:00pm – Second stage begins

Around noon my midwife came in wanting to do a quick check to see how things were going. My contractions had just started to really intensify to where I couldn’t really stand through them so I requested a birthing ball to sit on. Her check showed that I was still sitting at just around 6cm and 80% effaced. I was a little bummed that things hadn’t increased much but figured it would soon since things were getting harder. I spent the next 2hrs on the ball with my midwife pushing pressure points on my hands and Dan giving counter pressure on my back with tennis balls through contractions. They were definitely more intense and exactly how I remembered active labor being with Harper (except the back labor I had this time! I managed to not have any with Harper). My doula started using Bradley techniques to help with my breathing through contractions since I would focus so hard on relaxing everything and forget to breathe. I also started getting really emotional at this point and starting to voice doubts on if I could do this again. My doula recognized the third signpost of labor and felt that I had probably hit transition. I also started to get nauseous so she put out peppermint candles and essential oils. Let me tell you taking a whiff of peppermint when the feeling that you need to puke hits really does help! That combined with her bag of tricks (tennis balls, back massager, heat packs…..) really really helped!! 🙂

It was around 2pm when my midwife came back in and I requested a check….sure that I was easily 7-8cm and in transition. I was absolutely crushed when she informed me that I was still at 6cm 80%. The baby had moved down a bit which was good…but other than that no progress. Even my doula was a little shocked since all the signs showed that I should be in transition. My midwife felt that the baby might not be in a great position and wanted me to stay in bed doing side to side to let him shift around. My WORST nightmare in labor. I agreed though because if something didn’t change soon the only options would be to either send me home (yeah not going to happen!!!!) or start other interventions that I was trying to stay away from. The next stage was when things started to get a little crazy….very intense…and fuzzy.

Lying in bed during intense contractions is easily the most painful thing I have ever done. At one point the contractions did slow down a bit that I had a restless 20min nap (my saving grace)…but once I woke up I couldn’t handle the pain. These contractions were NOTHING like what I had experienced with Harper. 100% of the pain was in my pelvic bone region. It felt like someone had an ice pick inside of me and was jamming it as hard as it could go against my pubic bone during each contraction. The contractions were coming fast every 90sec or so and lasting at least a minute. With every contraction I had Dan pushing as hard as he could against my back and my doula pushing pressure points while helping me count and breathe. As time went on I started to lose it and couldn’t hold my focus through them….there just wasn’t enough time between to catch my breath. Eventually I started panicking and crying out during the pain. My quiet, calm birth was out the window. At one point someone suggested I try all fours to see if that helped. It did NOT!!! Halfway through the contraction my midwife came in to check on me and found me crying on all fours in the bed screaming for someone to help me get up. I NEEDED to get out of that damn bed! I kept looking over at the birthing ball in the corner and thinking that if I could just somehow get to it I could get control on things again.

Sure at this point that I was close my midwife did a quick check. I was still at 6cm. Pure devastation.  I broke down crying and told her to do something. She suggested breaking my water. We all knew that my contractions and the pain would increase significantly with my water broken. It might speed things up…..or it might not. I was honestly terrified of the pain increasing and kept looking back and forth between Dan and my doula, unsure of what to do. Ultimately it was my decision though and I agreed to have my water broken. I knew I was close to hitting my limit and nothing was progressing so I took the chance that the pain would increase but that it would be short lived as things went quicker.

4:30pm – Water Breaks

My midwife quickly broke my water and I heard her say something about meconium. My NICU nurse radar went up and I asked her what she saw. When she told me my waters had slight meconium in them I started crying. I knew that slight meconium held a pretty low risk for meconium aspirations….but it was still a risk. I also knew that my dreams of having Dan catch the baby and hand it right to me were gone (my midwife was fine with him catching if everything went well). Instead the baby would be taken immediately to the warmer for the NICU team to assess before given to me. With all the other crazy and emotion going on it was just too much. Dan saw me start to lose it and teared up as well. He hugged me and told me it would all be ok….nothing bad was going to happen to our baby. He honestly was my rock. I didn’t have much time to cry though because seconds later a contraction hit. I was still on my back from having my water broken and I started screaming for someone to get me out of bed. I was in pure panic with the pain. It took all four people in the room grabbing different limbs and pulling to get me in an upright position. As soon as I sat up the need to push hit. Big Time. I looked at my midwife in a panic and told her I felt like I had to push. She tried to calm me down and told me I really didn’t have to yet. She suggested I try to go to the bathroom thinking that maybe the baby had dropped a bit and was putting pressure on my colon. I headed to the bathroom and convinced everyone to leave me alone for a few minutes (I still have a little dignity people!). Sitting on the toilet however made the urge 10X worse and I could not hold back the push no matter how hard I tried. My doula finally peeked in and saw that I was in need of help. Still convinced that I was no where near the point of pushing we decided to try the shower to see if it could help me work through the pain. I jumped in only to find out that apparently the hot water didn’t work in my room (go figure!). Dan and my doula kept pointing the ice cold water away from me while they tried to get the water hot….and I kept yelling at them to stop! I didn’t mind the cold water I needed something to help distract me from pushing……not that it was working. At this point things were absolutely crazy. I was crying and clinging to Dan pushing almost constantly even as I kept saying “no push, no push, no push” over and over. I knew not to push if I wasn’t ready….but I couldn’t stop. My poor doula and nurse were standing there at a loss. They kept trying to get me to grunt through the contraction so I wouldn’t push….but it didn’t help. Minutes (seconds?!) later my midwife walked in the bathroom and took one look at the situation and decided they needed to get me back to bed ASAP with the next break. Dan pretty much had to carry me back to bed and as soon as I laid down my midwife peaked and saw a baby crowning.

5:00pm – Pushing

At this point things were moving too fast for me to honestly process it. I kept thinking that if she told me I was anything less than 9 I was calling it quits and asking for something. I knew if I continued to push without being fully dilated I would do massive harm to myself. When the midwife said it was time to push because the baby was crowning I just looked at her not comprehending anything. I kept thinking I needed everyone to be quiet and give me a minute to get my head together. Contractions were back to back and I was still trying my best to NOT push even as my midwife is grabbing my hands and trying to get me to grab my legs to push. Everything was crazy and spinning and I was so confused. Finally though she broke through my confusion and I understood that I could push when needed (which was always!). There was no nice push/relax like with Harper…..I didn’t even have a chance to take a breath between contractions. Just a never ending need to push. It didn’t help my feelings that things were out of control. It happened so fast (and I definitely felt the ring of fire this time!!!). Suddenly though his head popped out followed quickly with the rest of him. He didn’t cry right away and I kept trying to sit up to see what was going on as the midwife hurried and clamped the cord (she did let Dan cut it quickly!) and hand him off to the nurses (I pushed so fast the NICU team didn’t make it). There was no “it’s a boy!” moment as Dan and I both saw it was definitely a boy but were much more concerned on if he was ok. I kept asking over and over if he was ok and breathing. The midwife assured me he looked good and soon I heard that amazing sound of my son’s first cry. At that point I laid back, took a deep breath and smiled. I had a son. At 5:10pm my life changed once again. In 40min I went from barely 6cm to having my baby out. Due to some small bruising on his forehead (right at the hairline) my midwife thinks that he had his chin slightly elevated causing him to get hung up on the tip of my pelvis. It would explain the incredible shooting pain I had in my pelvic bone with each contraction! Instead of moving down and putting pressure on my cervix during contractions the poor little guy was being thrown against my pelvic bone! It also explains why I was going through all the stages of labor but my cervix wasn’t responding to it. Most likely the act of breaking my water and change of pressure caused him to tuck his head in and I dilated automatically to a 10 with the next contraction. No one thought it would go that fast and if my midwife had left the room to go make rounds after breaking my water I very likely would have delivered him in the shower!

After a quick assessment the nurse brought him over and finally placed him on my chest. I got my first good look at my amazing son. Poor kiddo was pretty upset and quickly squirmed his way over and latched right on. He nursed for a good 30-45min right away….just like his sister! 🙂

I luckily had no tears but did need a few stitches for a blood vein I had busted that wouldn’t stop bleeding. My midwife was extra cautious delivering the placenta and gave me extra pitocin after delivery since I had hemorrhaged with Harper….luckily it wasn’t so bad this time! Once Jake stopped nursing they took him to finish their assessments. He weighed in at 7lbs 10ozs and was 18.5in long! Almost 2/3rds of a pound bigger than Harper! Everyone kept exclaiming about his full head of hair but I had expected it after Harper! My only shock was that it wasn’t the almost black color that Harper’s was…..Jake’s hair is more of a chestnut brown with some smaller blonde highlights right in the front. Adorable! Eventually he was bundled up and handed off to Dan. My doula said a quick goodbye and the three of us snuggled up for a few minutes in awe that we had a son. I found out how it feels for your heart to completely double in size in a matter of seconds. Any worry I had that I couldn’t possibly love this baby as much as I loved my little princess at home vanished without a second thought. Life was perfect.

7lbs and 10ozs! Perfect!

My labor with Jacob was unlike anything I could have imagined. It was a million times more intense, emotional, crazy, surreal……throughout it I kept telling Dan that I was done, no more kids! Luckily birth amnesia is a real thing and I’m already sad that it is over and looking forward to #3 (though not for awhile!). 😉  As crazy as it was I am still so happy that I pushed through it and got my natural birth! It isn’t for everyone but I love seeing what my body can do. As a nurse I am all about modern medicine but for me personally as long as it wasn’t medically necessary then interventions and drugs are not right for me or my babies. I won’t sugarcoat it. It hurts. Parts of it can be excruciating. But it is worth it…..100% worth it. I also credit it to the incredibly easy recovery I have had. Other than a little swelling/soreness and some tailbone pain I felt great right away. I was able to chase Harper up and down the stairs the first day home (though luckily Dan is off on paternal leave so he does most of that!).

Ready to go home!!!

Our perfect little family!!

For now we are settling in as a family of 4. Harper met her baby brother the second day in the hospital and fell in love instantly. She kept saying “hi baby! Cute baby!” over and over. She has never shown jealousy when I hold or play with other kiddos so I wasn’t too worried about her acting out…..and luckily so far it hasn’t phased her a bit! She loved helping with diaper changes and runs over to him anytime he cries trying to soothe him with kisses and saying “no cry baby…no cry”. I couldn’t be prouder!

It is still to early to really assess Jake’s little personality since he is deep in the newborn coma stage but I have a feeling he is going to be a little more relaxed than my crazy little girl is/was! Sleep is rare with him waking every 2hrs to eat and having a hard time going back to sleep due to some gas/tummy issues. Nursing is going great except for a slight oversupply problem. So far going from 1 kiddo to 2 kiddos has been easier than going from 0 to 1! 🙂  We will see what the future holds! 😉