1,477 Days

Baby girl,

It took me an unreasonable amount of time to decide how to start this letter. You are no longer a baby….so far from one….but in my heart you will always be my baby. Each birthday you celebrate becomes more and more bittersweet for me. You are growing and changing so fast. I could never have imagined 4yrs ago when I saw your sweet face for the first time what an amazing little girl you would become. You were a mommas girl from that first day, you hated anyone else trying to hold or play with you! How did you grow into this confident, outgoing, ball of energy?! You are so open and always on the lookout for your next “best friend”. The first thing you do when arriving at a playground or any place with kids is scan the area for someone to play with. We always joke that you think all humans were placed on this Earth to be your friend. You amaze me with your confidence.

You finished up your first year of preschool and you rocked it just like I knew you would! Watching you write your name, draw actual pictures, and show off the social skills you gained is awesome. This was the first year that you made actual friends and real relationships with kiddos….you took a small step out of our little nest and while it makes my heart hurt a little I want to explode with pride!

This parenting thing is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and you are my poor little guinea pig. Most days I go to bed feeling bad about those times I’ve raised my voice to you (and there were a lot of those times….your threes were not that easy!!) 😉  and wondering if I’m doing the best I can for you, but then I stand back and watch you and realize that something must be working because you are becoming such an amazing little person!

As a new 4yr old you:

– Can write your name and are showing lots of interest in learning to read (though I have no idea how to help with that!!)

– Are obsessed with everything Frozen….just like every single preschooler in America 😉

– Love musicals and broadway! Broadway showtunes is the only Pandora station we listen too and you love to watch scenes from shows on youtube. I cannot wait to take you to your first show!

– Learned that while you get stage fright singing or dancing in front of people you LOVE being on stage! Once those lights go on and “shield” you from the audience you shine!

– Will sit and eat a plate full of tomatoes and carrots. Sometimes I wonder if you really are my child 😉

– Balance out your veggie eating self with a love of anything ice cream or cake related!

– Can spend 4hrs at the bounce house going crazy with friends…..and still have energy!

– Have added a few more countries to your passport! You have been to 9 countries (a few of those more than once!!). You are always asking about when we are going on vacation….your daddy fears having two females with the travel bug! haha!

– Love dressing up and playing with your dollhouse! I try to keep up but sadly my imagination can’t hold a candle to yours! 🙂

– Are an AMAZING big sister!!! You wake each morning and automatically go searching for your brother. The excitement you two have seeing each other warms my heart. You do crazy things to make him laugh and always make sure to introduce him to the kids you meet at the playground (and you demand they say hello to him! haha!). Watching the bond grow between the two of you has been such a privilege.

Once again you had to say goodbye to your daddy. I feared this time since you are such a big girl and would really feel the absence of your daddy. I know you are struggling with understanding and missing him but you have been so brave and amazing. We are so proud of you! We are setting out on another deployment adventure soon (with your little brother towing along!)…..while I hate these times I do cherish the memories I get to make with my favorite little girl!

Every.single.day I think I can not possibly love you any more than I do that day. And every day you prove me wrong. The days are long and crazy but these years are flying by so fast. There are so many moments and memories coming in the future I can’t wait to make…..but I want to grab you right now and freeze you just like this. My innocent little girl who still thinks I am the most amazing person ever. That I can fix anything. I’m cherishing these days since I know soon you will realize the truth 😉

I love you boo-bah. I love you more than you will ever understand. Your smile makes my day brighter and your laugh can make any day better. No matter how crazy and hard the days are I am so thankful that I get to stay home and watch you grow.

Happy Birthday Harper Jane! XXOOXXOO!

 

Summer…Let’s do this

Welcome summer!

50 days of deployment are down and we are finally settled up in Wisconsin ready to welcome the summer! 🙂  The first month of deployment was relatively “easy” and flew by fast. May was full of end of year activities, recitals, parties…..adding in packing up a house and heading out on a looooong road trip made the days go fast. The kids did great on the long drive although we didn’t get to stop and visit friends like we were planning on due to illness.

Now we are finally in Wisconsin and getting set up at Dan’s parents house. Yes I am living with my inlaws! Haha! The face I get from most people when I tell them that is pretty priceless 😉  The idea came about a few days after Dan got his deployment orders. Last deployment I almost lost it being stuck all alone in TX during an extremely hot summer with a toddler. Being stranded indoors when it is 100+ for months at a time can make you lose your mind. I honestly started panicking just thinking about trying to do it again (and with two kids this time!). I started brainstorming how to get the heck out of there but it is hard to move and set up shop somewhere for just a handful of months. Dan’s parents just finished building their house on the large lot of land his grandparents had just outside of Madison. Moving up here would get us out of the crazy heat and give me actual adults to converse with at night (another thing that almost made me crazy last deployment!). We wouldn’t have to worry about short term leases or moving all our furniture somewhere…..and it would give the kids a chance to get to know this set of grandparents better. A win-win! 🙂  I won’t lie and say I wasn’t nervous about the plan. Moving into anyone’s house as an adult with kiddos can be a challenge! I’ve lived close to my inlaws for a short period in Chicago when they bought a condo in our building….but this would be 100% under the same roof! Eeek!

Luckily though I have not had a lot of the drama that most people seem to have with their inlaws. I’m sure there has been times in the last 7+yrs that they have been annoyed with me and vice versa 😉 but I feel that we are all pretty respectful of each other and above all I know they love their grandkids. I was practically raised by my grandmother and grandfather……my grandmother is my everything and not a day goes by that I don’t miss my grandfather……so I decided that no matter what issues might arise being under the same roof I had to honor the grandparent relationship and give my kids the chance to make some memories with theirs. We are a few weeks in so far it has been great! My father in law works out of town so is gone most of the week and my mother in law is busy with work and taking care of all the gardens and land but we manage to have some family time on the weekends with brunch or taking the kids to events around town. We are slowly finding our way and figuring out how we all do things and how to make them work together. The grandparents are getting used to the noise and chaos that two small children bring (it has been quite awhile since little feet pounded their floors and little fingers swiped the butter! haha!). We’ve set up a small playroom area downstairs so I can contain the crazy of toys and during the day we are out most hours trying to run off some of this crazy kid energy! I’m planning several weekend trips to Chicago to visit family/friends and other little staycations around the area to give everyone a little peace throughout the summer.

Madison has been great though! It is has been anywhere between 20 and 30 degrees COOLER than TX! Awesome!!!! We can go to the park anytime of day and not worry about 3rd degree burns from slides! Afternoon walks/runs or trips to the zoo are not trips to hell! And there is sooooo much to do here! Amazing playgrounds (seriously I have NEVER seen things like this!), free zoo, free splashpads (multiple!), nature trails, running paths, huge community pools, awesome children’s museum (free for military!!), tons of cheap open gyms…….getting bored is really not possible! Even better are the amount of camps/activities available for little ones Harper’s age! Next week she starts a two week French Immersion camp through UW. So excited! The winters are no joke up here but the summers can NOT be beat! It has already made a big difference mentally this deployment. It still sucks but I feel like I can do this! Fuck it all we will get through this and be stronger for it. I am determined.

Let’s hope the next few months go great and we end this crazy experiment as a closer family and not ready to burn the place down 😉 I knew being a military wife meant I had to be flexible and ready for anything….but I can honestly say I never though living with the inlaws would be a part of the plan! haha! Crazy where life takes us! 🙂